"I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee." ~ Flash Rosenberg

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12 Ways to know if you drink too much coffee...

  1. You get a tax cut for all the coffee you bought.

  2. You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.

  3. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

  4. You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.

  5. You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

  6. Your coffee cake, must have coffee in it.

  7. You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.

  8. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

  9. Instant coffee takes too long.

  10. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

  11. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

  12. You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.

Why Coffee Is Better Than Men

A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.

You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee.

You can always warm coffee up.

Coffee comes with endless refills.

You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM.

Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.

You can make coffee as sweet as you want.

Coffee smells and tastes good.

You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it'll be hot when you get back.

They have coffee at police stations.

You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.

No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.

A big cup or small cup? It doesn't matter.

You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee.

Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.

Coffee doesn't take up half your bed.

Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at 3 AM and decide to have a cup.

INSTANT COFFEE!

 

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