Effective Communication:

Knowing Yourself and Others

Body Language

Communicating Without Words

By: Vadim Kotelnikov

Founder, Ten3 Business e-Coach Inspiration, Achievement, Innovation and Happiness unlimited!


"Start to notice your body language, and other people's and see how much you can pick up about what someone saying just by watching them."  Russel Webster

"There are no language barriers when you are smiling." Allen Klein

Body Language Face-to-Face Communication 1000ventures.com

Mastering Body Language

Key Objectives1

  1. to carry greater influence

  2. to develop effective powers of persuasion

  3. to improve interpersonal skills

  4. to make more effective presentations

  5. to sell more

  6. to be more assertive and learn how to control others

  7. to reduce negativity in conflict

  8. to spot hidden agendas in conversation

  9. to enhance your carrier prospects.



Body Language

Two Core Questions

  1. What signals are you sending to others about yourself?

  2. What emotional feedback are you giving others in response to the signals they are sending to you?

The 10 Essentials of Effective Communication

  • Be mindful of what your face and body are conveying nonverbally.... More

 Discover more!

Effective Communication

Active Listening

Mental Maps

Cultural Intelligence

Managing Cross-cultural Differences

Cross-cultural Communication

People Skills

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)



Why Body Language?

Body language can help you get on not, just because you may look the part, exude confidence and act assertively, but because you can look beyond what people say to what they really mean.

Know What Your Body Is Saying

Body language plays a very important role in communication. "Body language accounts for more than half of what other people respond to and make assumptions about when they connecting with you. And more often than not, you're not consciously thinking about it. By becoming conscious, you're 50% ahead of the game," says Nicholas Boothman.3

Cultural Differences

Your Attitude Is Infectious and Drives Behavior


Your attitude is the first thing people pick up on in face-to-face communication.6 Just as laughing, yawning, and crying are infectious, attitude is infectious. Before you say a word, your attitudes can infect the people who see you with the same behavior. Somehow just by looking or feeling, you can be infected by another person's attitude, and vice versa... More

Open and Close Signals

With your body language, "you're constantly saying either, "Welcome, I'm open for business," or, "Go away, I'm closed for business." You may be showing that you are an opportunity or a threat; a friend or a foe; confident or uncomfortable; telling the truth or spouting lies."3

When you are operating from inside a really useful attitude, such as enthusiasm, curiosity, and humility, your body language tends to take care of itself and sends out unmistakable signals of openness. "Nonetheless, there things you can consciously do to make sure you're showing your best face. If you want to show that you're open for business, a friend and not a foe, without saying a word, you have to open yourself up to the world in the first second of every encounter. Open body language - together with open facial expressions includes uncrossed arms and legs, ease in facing the person, good eye contact, smiling, standing or sitting erect, leaning forward, flexible shoulders, and a generally relaxed aura. Open body language makes expressive use of hands, arms, legs, and feet."3

Face Values

The Face Values system4 is based on facial behavior. What causes you to make one facial expression more often than any other? There are only a few facial expressions that are repeated, so when you know what they are, you can easily read just about anyone you ever meet.

Synchronizing Body Language

People who are in rapport unconsciously synchronize their body language and their vocal characteristics. "When you deliberately synchronize your body language with another's, amazing connections can happen. Our response to synchronization is a function of our predisposition to reciprocate behavior. It's hardwired into the human brain."3

 Case in Point  Synchronizing Body Language

During a radio interview with Nicholas Boothman, the author of several books describing the body language synchronizing phenomenon, the host told him, "I read your over the weekend. On Sunday night, my husband took me out to dinner, so I decided to try out your synchronizing exercise with someone in the restaurant to see what would happen. I was a little skeptical."

She went on to explain that sitting about three tables away was a slightly older couple. The woman was more or less facing in her direction, but they never made eye contact. "For about twenty minutes I gently synchronized her overall body language and posture. When she moved, I moved; when she shifted her weight from one elbow to the other, I followed. I did it all without ever looking directly at her. And then an incredible thing happened. The woman got up from the table and came over to me. 'Excuse me,' she said, 'but I'm sure I know you.' I was blown away."3





  1. "Understanding Body Language", Geoff Ribbens and Richard Thompson

  2. "Super Communication the NLP Way", Russel Webster

  3. How To Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less, Nicholas Boothman

  4. "Reading People," Michael Lovas

  5. "Managing Cultural Differences", Vadim Kotelnikov

  6. Your People Skills, Vadim Kotelnikov

  7. Harnessing Cultural Intelligence (CQ), Vadim Kotelnikov