Why Connect with
Connecting with people "is not
about being phony or acting like someone you are not; it's about
creating a favorable link between your internal nature with its
beliefs and values, and the external world where you go to
work,", says Nicholas Boothman, the author of How To Connect
in Business in 90 Seconds or Less.
Learning to connect fast with your
customers, colleagues, bosses, employees, and even total
strangers by taking full advantage of your
body, your mind, your voice, and above all your
imagination will give you a significant competitive edge. It
will help you maximize the potential in every
relationship, be it personal, business-related, or social.
"To handle yourself, use your
head; to handle others, use your heart," advised Donald Laird.
Different people take in the world
through different senses. People have different preferred ways
of thinking and communicating their experiences – some express
themselves in pictures, others talk about how things sound to
them, and others speak about how things feel. If you want to
connect with them, you have to figure out which sense they
Preferred Styles Into Account
To work effectively with people,
take their preferred style of interaction and decision-making
into account. Many misunderstandings derive from differences in
For example, "Perceivers" may see
"Judgers" as unwilling to take the time to explore creative
options. Conversely, "Judgers" can become irritated by
"Perceivers" who may stray from the agenda...
Eye is one of the most important
nonverbal channels you have for communication and connecting
with other people. "The cheapest, most effective way to connect
with people is to look them into the eye," advises Nicholas
Eyes are not only the "window to
the soul", they also answer the critical questions when you are
trying to connect:
s/he paying attention to what I'm saying?
▪ Does this person find me attractive?
▪ Does this person like me?...