Three Rules of Making a Good First Impression1
Look people in
the eye and smile.
validates the person and engenders
trust. Smiling makes you
appear happy and confident.
Fit in – when you want people to
feel like they already know you, be a chameleon. You feel
comfortable and relaxed with people who are like you. Pace your
prospects, synchronize your body language with them to achieve
Capture the imagination and you capture the heart. Use
sensory-rich language and images so others can see, hear, feel,
smell and taste what you mean.
Why Connect with People?
Connecting with people "is not about being
phony or acting like someone you are not; it's about creating a favorable
link between your internal nature with its beliefs and values, and the
external world where you go to work."1
Your People Skills 360
Learning to connect fast
customers, colleagues, bosses, employees, and even total strangers
by taking full advantage of your body, your mind, your voice, and above all
your imagination will give you a significant competitive edge. It will help
you maximize the potential in every
relationship, be it personal,
business-related, or social.
Yin-Yang of Influencing People
Eye is one of the most important nonverbal
channels you have for communication and connecting with other people. "The
cheapest, most effective way to connect with people is to look them into the
eye."1 Eyes are not only the "window to the soul", they also
answer the critical questions when you are trying to connect:
Is he paying attention to what I'm saying?
Does this person find me attractive?
Does this person like me?1...
Yin-Yang of Effective Listening
Take the Preferred Styles
To work effectively with people, take their
preferred style of interaction and decision-making
into account. Many misunderstandings derive from differences in style.
Same Reality, Different Perceptions
example, "Perceivers" may see "Judgers" as unwilling to take the time to
explore creative options. Conversely, "Judgers" can become irritated by
"Perceivers" who may stray from the agenda...
Connecting with Senses
Different people take in the world through
different senses. People have
different preferred ways of thinking and communicating their experiences
– some express themselves in pictures, others talk about how things
sound to them, and others speak about how things feel. If you want to
connect with them, you have to figure out which sense they favor...
Understand EGA of Your Audience
Case in Point
Invited to speak before the crowd of six
thousand – the seekers, the curious, and the skeptical - at Arizona
State University in 1993,
Lama entered the lecture hall and walked through the crowd smiling
broadly and greeting people as he passed by, writes Howard C.Cutler.2
"Finally passing through a curtain, he walked on stage, bowed, folded his
hands, and smiled. He was greeted with thunderous applause. At his request,
the house lights were not dimmed so he could clearly see his audience, and
for several moments he simply stood there, quietly surveying the audience
with an unmistakable expression of warmth and goodwill. For those who had
never seen the Dalai Lama before, his maroon and saffron monk's robes may
have created a somewhat exotic impression, yet his remarkable ability to
establish rapport with his audience
was quickly revealed as he sat down and began his talk."