① Explore what you think about the relationship. Label both your own and
the other person's behavior. Change the state – shake off all
Explore the relationship from the
other person's point of view.
Imagine how they experience your behavior. What sort of label would
they put on it? How do they feel? Shake off that emotional state
③ Go outside the relationship, become a
detached observer – imagine a stage and see
both of you on stage. See that other person
doing what they do, and see yourself
responding to them...
Shift your question from 'How can I change that person's behavior?' to
'How am I reinforcing or triggering that person's behavior?' Explore
how else you could respond to him or her.