Influencing People:

Knowing People


Individual Maps of Reality – Ways In Which We Perceive the World

Vadim Kotelnikov personal logo Vadim Kotelnikov

Founder, Ten3 Business e-Coach Inspiration, Achievement, Innovation and Happiness unlimited!





 Beauty... Truths... Everything is in the eye of the beholder...


"The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind."  ~ Wayne W. Dyer


Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

Perception: What You Pay Attention To

Senser (S)

Intuiter (N)

The 5 senses

Intuition (the 6th sense)

Practical, facts

Theoretical, insights

Present, what is real

Future, what could be

Using established skills

Learning new skills

Utility, step by step

Novelty, radical change

Create Greater Value for People Around You

To be able to help people achieve more and solve their problems in a caring value-added way, ask yourself these searching questions constantly:

Customer Relationship Management

Three Disciplines

  1. Brand management: brand equity refers to the customers’ subjective appraisal of the brand.

  2. Customer value analysis: value equity refers to the customers’ perceptions of value.

  3. Customer loyalty analysis: retention equity refers to the firm building relationships with customers and encouraging repeat-purchasing.

Your People Skills

Knowing People

Taking Different Perceptual Positions

Mental Maps



Harnessing Cultural Intelligence

Cultural Differences

Life Philosophies: East vs. West

Cross--cultural Communication

Winning Customers

Effective Marketing and Selling

The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing: The Law of Perception

Differentiating with Different Types of People

Perception Defined

How we generate information about the world is perceiving.

When new information is compatible with your knowledge structures it is accepted, when it does not mesh with your pre-conceived ideas or past experience it receives little consideration, is distorted or ignored.2

So, if you wish your message to hit the target, make adjustment to the wind.

Business Is All About Perceptions

Business – communication, leadership, teamwork, motivation, value innovation, differentiation, marketing, etc. – is all about perceptions.  The essence of leading, managing, marketing and selling is coming to grips with people's perceptions.

How To Make Great Presentations

"Perception is all there is..." writes Tom Peters.5 "There is only one perceived reality, the way each of us chooses to perceive a communication, the value of a service, the value of a particular product feature, the quality of a product."



Selective Perceptions

Most of your judgments result from decisional shortcuts you use to generate solutions that are good enough most of the time. When you perceive a situation that looks familiar to you, doesn't your past experience cause you to see the event in terms of what you expect? Doesn't your limited span of attention lead you to categorize things by aspects that appear similar to what you already know?

"We are constantly bombarded with so much sensory information that it is impossible for us to pay attention to everything. Our subconscious mind scans our environment and selects what it deems may be important for us to notice. Even then, people not only see things the way they are, they also tend to see what they expect to see, as well as what they want to see."3 "Much of human perception is based not on information flowing into the brain from the outside world but what the brain, based on previous experience, expects to happen next,” says Sandra Blakeslee, an award-winning science writer for the New York Times.

Connecting with Senses

People have three basic methods of perceiving the world around them:

  • Visual (see the world)

  • Auditory (hear the world)

  • Kinethetic (feel the world).

Individuals have different preferred ways of thinking and communicating their experiences – some express themselves in pictures, others talk about how things sound to them, and others speak about how things feel. If you want to connect with your target customers, you have to figure out which sense they favor... More

 Case in Point  Young Women or Old Woman?

This example is often used by educators when they talk about selective perceptions. Take a look at the Figure 1 of a woman. How would you describe her? Is she young or old? Pretty or unattractive? Rich or poor? You must have classified her as young, pretty, and wealthy. Now look at the Figure 2. Have you change your mind? Unlikely. You still see a young, pretty, and wealthy woman. And what if I tell you that she is old, unattractive and poor? You won't believe me.

However, people who are initially shown the woman in Figure 3 and then are asked to describe the woman in Figure 2 almost always say she is old, unattractive, and poor, i.e. they see the opposite of what others see in the very same picture. "When shown either the relatively unambiguous picture of the young or old woman first (Figure 1 and 3) and than the composite picture (Figure 2), selective perception has been triggered. Exposure to either picture draws our attention to seek out thinking processes willingly oblige by conforming that the second picture lives up to our expectations."3




  1. "Thinking Outside the Comfort Zone," Jerry Sentell

  2. "Selling with NLP," Kerry L. Johnson

  3. "Making Better Business Decisions," Steve W. Williams

  4. "Driving Customer Equity," Rust, Roland T., Zeithaml, Valarie A. & Lemon, Katherine E.

  5. "A Passion for Excellence: The Leadership Difference," Tom Peters and Nancy Austin