Influencing People:

Knowing People

Taking Different Perceptual Positions

Gaining New Understanding Through Seeing Things from Different Perspectives

Vadim Kotelnikov personal logo Vadim Kotelnikov

Founder, Ten3 Business e-Coach Inspiration, Achievement, Innovation and Happiness unlimited!!



"He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that."  

~ John Stuart Mill

"The bird thinks it is an act of kindness to give the fish a lift in the air."

~ Rabindranath Tagore



Main Four Perceptual Positions

  1. Self: you are in your own body, looking out through your own eyes, seeing things from your point of view

  2. Other: step into your prospect's shoes, imagine what it's like to be him or her, look at the world through his or her eyes

  3. Observer: take a concerned observer's view of events in which you are involved, access the view or comments of your 'wiser self'

  4. We: the viewpoint from the perspective of the system as a whole... More

NLP Technology of Achievement


Different Perceptual Positions Can Help You:

  • improve rapport

  • check out the possible results of choices and actions before acting on them

  • understand where others are coming from in negotiations, conflicts, or disagreements

Negotiation DOs and DON'Ts

  • reconnect with your own feelings and needs

10 Essentials of Effective Communication

  • Put yourself in your audience's shoes, try to understand your listener's level of understanding... More

10 Great Communication Quotes


Idea Evaluation Techniques: 4x2 Perceptual Positions

The Tao of Entrepreneurial Creativity

  • Changing the name of the game and the rules; changing hats... More

Perceptual Positions Defined

Your perception of any experience depends on the position from where you perceive it.

Same Reality, Different Perceptions

Key Benefits

Taking different perceptual positions enables you to step out of what you are currently experiencing and gather new information by seeing things from a different perspective. You can also check out how your own words and behavior may be impacting on other people, and how they may be feeling about you and your actions. This new knowledge will help you make the necessary changes in your behavior and thus achieve desired outcomes.

Establishing Rapport and Building Trust

We all have different maps of reality ways in which we perceive the world and "we can only really trust people who look at the world the way we do. If we feel understood, we give people our trust and open up to them more easily."2 Taking the other person's perceptual position will help you achieve rapport and be on the same wavelength with him or her.

Your People Skills 360

 Tool in Point  Six Thinking Hats

The Six Thinking Hats proposal analysis tool invented by Edward de Bono5 is particularly useful for evaluating innovative and provocative ideas. While most of our thinking is adversarial, the six thinking hats technique overcomes these difficulties by forcing everyone to think in parallel. As participants wear each hat white, red, yellow, black, green, or blue they all must think a certain way at the same time... More

 Case in Point  Charles Schwab

Charles Schwab, the founder of the US leading discounted stock brokerage company, has talked about his effort to assume the perspective of his customer. "I am like a chief. I like to taste the food. If it tastes bad, I don't serve it. I'm constantly monitoring what we do, and I'm always looking for better ways we can provide financial services, ways that would make me happy if I were a client."... More

Smart Executive

 Case in Point  Disney Creativity Strategy

Walt Disney was true genius at turning fantasies into reality.

According to Robert Dilts, an NLP pioneer who developed the technique called Disney Creativity Strategy, this process involves three distinct perceptual positions working in coordination with one another: (1) Visual imagery, (2) Kinesthetic feelings, and (3) Re-viewing the story in memory... More

Entrepreneurial Creativity: 4 Keys

 Legend in Point  The Blind Men and the Elephant

There are various versions of the story of the blind men and the elephant. The blind men and the elephant is a legend that appears in different cultures - notably China, Africa and India - and the tale dates back thousands of years. Some versions of the story feature three blind men, others five or six, but the message is always the same. Here's a story of the six blind men and the elephant.

Six blind men were discussing exactly what they believed an elephant to be, since each had heard how strange the creature was, yet none had ever seen one before. So the blind men agreed to find an elephant and discover what the animal was really like.

It didn't take the blind men long to find an elephant at a nearby market. The first blind man approached the beast and felt the animal's firm flat side. "It seems to me that the elephant is just like a wall," he said to his friends.

The second blind man reached out and touched one of the elephant's tusks. "No, this is round and smooth and sharp - the elephant is like a spear."

Intrigued, the third blind man stepped up to the elephant and touched its trunk. "Well, I can't agree with either of you; I feel a squirming writhing thing surely the elephant is just like a snake."

The fourth blind man was of course by now quite puzzled. So he reached out, and felt the elephant's leg. "You are all talking complete nonsense," he said, "because clearly the elephant is just like a tree."

Utterly confused, the fifth blind man stepped forward and grabbed one of the elephant's ears. "You must all be mad an elephant is exactly like a fan."

Duly, the sixth man approached, and, holding the beast's tail, disagreed again. "It's nothing like any of your descriptions the elephant is just like a rope."

And all six blind men continued to argue, based on their own particular experiences, as to what they thought an elephant was like. It was an argument that they were never able to resolve. Each of them was concerned only with their own idea. None of them had the full picture, and none could see any of the other's point of view. Each man saw the elephant as something quite different, and while in part each blind man was right, none was wholly correct.

There is never just one way to look at something there are always different perspectives, meanings, and perceptions, depending on who is looking.4




  1. The NLP Coach, Ian McDermott and Wendy Jago

  2. Selling With NLP, Kerry L. Johnson

  3. Seven Masters, One Path, John Selby

  4. Stories and Analogies,

  5. Six Thinking Hats, Edward de Bono

  6. NLP Solutions, Sue Knight

  7. Ways of NLP, Joseph O'Connor and Ian McDermott

  8. NLP - the New Technology of Achievement, Steve Andreas and Charles Faulkner

  9. NLP and the New Manager, Ian McDermott and Ian Shircore

  10. Neuro-Linguistic Programming In A Week, Mo Shapiro

  11. Handbook of NLP: A Manual for Professional Communicators, Harry Adler

  12. Mental Maps

  13. Benefits of NLP

  14. Applications of NLP To Business