Soft Skills

People Skills

Social Skills


Influencing People

Getting others to do what you want

Vadim Kotelnikov

Vadim Kotelnikov, founder of 1000ventures - personal logo Vadim Kotelnikov





Influencing People Knowing People Emotional Intelligence (EI) Effective Listening Observing People The Power of Attitude Establishing Rapport Asking Searching Questions Persuading People Leadership Coaching People Inspiring Energizing People Motivating Ten3 Business e-Coach: why, what, and how Compassion Quotes Yin and Yang The Tao of Influencing Peopls - How To Influence People

"Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all."  ~ Dwight Eisenhower   

"Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must yourself believe." ~ Winston Churchill 



Art, Science, and Practice of Influencing People

  1. The Art asking the right questions about people

  2. The Science answering these questions, analyzing the answers, and evaluating their results

  3. The Practice implementing the solutions


The Art of Influence in the Ancient Greek Philosophy

  • Ethos concerns your credibility, your emotional bank account

  • Pathos deals with emotions and motivation (the right brain)

  • Logos deals with the logical reasoning process (the left brain)

Getting the Best Long-Term Results

To influence people and achieve behavioral change,


12 Effective Leadership Roles

  1. Bring out best in your men; have common touch with them; coach and provide feedback... More

Creative Leadership DOs and DON'Ts


The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

By: Stephen R. Covey

Public Victory

  1. Think Win / Win... More

Influence the Key to Success

"Every hour of every day, at every level in every organization, influential people succeed and non-influential people don't," says Graham Roberts-Phelps.3

Whether you want your kids to behave better, your employees to do a better job, lead people around you, or win new clients, the key is influence. You must become a person of influence if you want people to do what you want.

Understanding and Fulfilling Needs of Others

People are motivated for their reasons, not yours.

One of the golden rules of the therapy profession is that everyone needs at least one person with whom they can openly and unashamedly discuss every little detail happenings, desires, fears of their life, whether it is from the past, present, or future.

There are other psychological needs to be accepted unconditionally, appreciated, recognized, respected, desired, valued, approved of, or complimented that affect the way we communicate with each other. Listen carefully, ask questions to show that you are genuinely interested and you'll be amazed at the spin-offs from becoming a good question asker and a good listener.


Self-Awareness is the first step to influencing others.

Great leaders, coaches and communicators don't focus extremely on their followers, players and audience. They have a high degree of self-awareness.

We all have basic skills to lead, coach, or communicate; unfortunately, most of us have a few psychological blocks when it comes to applying those skills well and consistently. Knowing yourself will help you overcome your own blocks.

Influence or Be Influenced

There are always two choices: either you can persuade others to help you or you can be persuaded to help them. It is one or the other. Most people are not aware that every human interaction involves a complex process of persuasion and influence. And being unaware, they are usually the ones being persuaded to help others rather than the ones who are doing the persuading... More

Influencing through Effective Listening

"You cannot establish trust if you cannot listen. A conversation is a relationship.

Both speaker and listener play a part, each influencing the other. Instead of being a passive recipient, the listener has as much to do in shaping the conversation as the speaker"9... More

Rapport the Key to Influence

You cannot influence someone unless he or she likes you in some way.

Rapport is the key to influence. Rapport and influence start with acceptance of the other person's point of view, their state and their style of communication. To influence you have to be able to appreciate and understand the other person's standpoint. And these work both ways: I cannot influence you without being open to influence myself... More

The Foundation of Leadership

By: Brian Tracy

We develop great perceptions of those men and women we can count on to help us achieve what is important to us. Men and women who make great sales, or who establish admirable sales records, develop influence in the minds and hearts of their coworkers and superiors. They are spoken about in the most positive way.

Connecting with People

Connecting with people "is not about being phony or acting like someone you are not; it's about creating a favorable link between your internal nature with its beliefs and values, and the external world where you go to work."5 Learning to connect fast with your customers, colleagues, bosses, employees, and even total strangers by taking full advantage of your body, your mind, your voice, and above all your imagination will give you a significant competitive edge. It will help you maximize the potential in every relationship, be it personal, business-related, or social... More

Selling By Coaching

You can use selling by coaching everywhere, both in life and business. It will help you sell anything you wish: product, idea, experience... It will help you influence people and inspire decisions.

To be a great salesperson, you must treat your prospective customer as a player who wants to achieve extraordinary results. You are to help the player win.


 Discover much more in the


Inspiring People...

Persuading People...

Become a Master of Persuasion...

Energizing People...

Emotional Intelligence...

Taking Different Perceptual Positions...

Leader as Servant...

Using Enneagram...

Listening To Emotions...

Asking Effective Questions...

Coaching by Questioning...




  1. "Neuro-Linguistic Programming In A Week," Mo Shapiro

  2. "NLP - the New Technology of Achievement," Steve Andreas and Charles Faulkner

  3. "Companies Don't  Succeed - People Do!" Graham Roberts-Phelps

  4. "Selling With NLP", Kerry L. Johnson

  5. "How To Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less," Nicholas Boothman

  6. "Become a Master of Persuasion," Brian Tracy

People Skills: One Way Many Paths

Connecting with People

Establishing Rapport

Communication GEM

Guard Your Happiness: the 4 Types of Opinion that Matter