Listen To What Is Not Said

No person is truly listening if s/he hears words only.

There is a real distinction between merely hearing the words and really listening for the message.

"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said." ~ Peter Drucker

When you listen effectively you understand what the person is thinking and/or feeling from the other person’s own perspective. It is as if you were standing in the other person’s shoes, seeing through his/her eyes and listening through the person's ears. Beware of barriers to listening.  Your own viewpoint may be different and you may not necessarily agree with the person, but as you listen, you understand from the other's perspective.

"No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying." ~ Unknown author

To listen effectively, you must be empathic and actively involved in the communication process, and not just listening passively.

Listen to how something is said. Engage all your senses. We frequently concentrate so hard on what is said that we miss the importance of the emotional reactions and attitudes related to what is said. Attitudes, and emotional reactions may be more important.

Be empathic and nonjudgmental. Silence your ego – completely! You can be accepting and respectful of the person and their feelings and beliefs without invalidating or giving up your own position, or without agreeing with the accuracy and validity of their view.

For example, if you find yourself feeling angry, do not tell your prospect you are angry; instead use your feeling of anger as a cue to find out more about what s/he is saying.

Treat your prospective customer as a player who wants to achieve extraordinary results. You are to help the player win. Listen to words, body language and emotions to understand the player's both conscious and unconscious needs... More