Your People Skills:

Influencing People

Persuading People

How To Get People Want To Do What Your Want Them To Do



"To be certain, negotiating is about communicating to convert." ~ Herb Cohen 


The Five Basic Elements of Persuasion

  1. Source: the quality and credibility of source

  2. Message: what, when and how you say; repeat your key points

  3. Medium: use the right channel to reach your audience

  4. Public: you must know your audience

  5. Effect: Did the persuaded audience do what you wanted it to do?

Yin-Yang of Influencing People


Three Prerequisites of Effective Persuasion1

  1. Trust (Ethos). Trust is the expectancy of people that they can rely on your word. Trust can precede you implicitly in your job title, your credentials, or your reputation.  It can also be built through integrity and consistency in relationships.

  2. Logic (Logos). Your point must make perfect sense.

  3. Emotion (Pathos). Your argument must appeal to the emotional man - to his or her imagination, and thus to the emotions.


Roadblock to Change2

The barriers that exist which inhibit the other party from shifting from from "no" to "yes" or going from reluctance to acceptance:

  1. Fondness for the Known.  While the existing situation has its problems and difficulties, your prospects have accustomed to it, knowing its routines and proprieties. Such familiarity and investment gives people a stake in continuing things as they are.

  2. Anxiety Inherent in Risk Taking. Though people accept the maxim that all progress entails risk, most of them are pragmatic and innately conservative.

  3. The Threat to Vested Interests. The presumption that "the way things are, is the way they are supposed to be" makes people hesitant to change.

  4. The Desire to Conform. Being in harmony with customs and standard practices makes most of people comfortable. The deeply rooted instinct to go along with the herd causes them to accept opinions and procedures that have been repeated over time.

  5. Order is Preferable to Disorder. Any change has the potential to produce the unforeseen and unanticipated. Because life itself is so unpredictable, people welcome areas or times of stability and tranquility.

The GE Leadership Effectiveness Survey (LES)

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Persuasion Defined

Persuasion is about getting people to want to do what you want them to do. "It's how you tap into people's dreams and link your products or services or causes to the realization of their dreams it's how you make them see it, hear it, and want it, " says Nicholas Boothman.1

The entire world is composed of the results of your ability to persuade others or their ability to persuade you. "Anytime we are doing anything, it's because somebody persuaded us to do it. We don't lie, cheat or steal, because somebody persuaded us to adopt a set of moral and ethical standards. We are surrounded by the things that people persuaded us buy."3

Your People Skills 360

10 Great Communication Quotes

Three Prerequisites

Aristotle posited that for persuasion to be truly effective, three elements must be present: trust, logic, and emotions.

"In modern terms that means that to be persuasive, you need to make good first impression by establishing trust through attitude (body language, voice tone) and personal packaging; you have to present your case with indisputable logic; and you have to give a tug to the emotions."1

Same Reality, Different Perceptions

Cultural Differences

4 NLP Perceptual Positions

Sell Your Ideas to Other Stakeholders

Great ideas are one thing; getting them into the minds of others is another. Use various selling techniques to sell your ideas to others. Remember, marketing is a battle of perceptions, not ideas.  All truth is relative what people perceive to be true that is the truth. Your task is to establish or change your prospect's perceptions, because if they don't you will not win the battle. The ugly truth is that you'll get further with a mediocre idea supported by a skillful marketing campaign than with a great idea alone... More

Selling Is Problem Solving

Yin-Yang of Communication

Yin-Yang  of Effective Listening

Use Prototypes to Sell Your Ideas to Others

"Good prototypes don't just communicate they persuade," says Tom Kelly.4 Prototypes beat words and pictures. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a good prototype is worth a thousand pictures. "It if easy to reject a dry report or a flat drawing. But models often surprise, making it easier to change your mind and accept new ideas. Or make hard choices, such as forgoing costly and complex features. Give your management team a report, and it's likely they won't be able to make a crisp decision. But a prototype is almost like a spokesperson for a particular point of view, crystallizing the group's feedback and keeping the things moving."

How To Make Great Presentations

Socratic Questions

Socratic questioning is at the heart of critical thinking they enhance your critical thinking skills. Socratic questions challenge accuracy and completeness of thinking in a way that acts to move people towards their ultimate goal... More



IDEO Tom Kelley creativity innovation quotes

Use prototypes to sell your ideas to others. Good prototypes don't just communicate they persuade.  >>>

Tom Kelley




  1. How To Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less, Nicholas Boothman

  2. Negotiate This, Herb Cohen

  3. Secrets of Power Persuasion for Salespeople, Roger Dawson

  4. The Art of Innovation, Tom Kelley