Achievement Management:

People Skills

Knowing Yourself and Others

Recognizing Your Own and Other People's Needs, Capabilities, Thinking and Communication Styles

Vadim Kotelnikov personal logo Vadim Kotelnikov

Author of Ten3 Business e-Coach  and mini-course "Your People Skills"


"Intelligent people know others. Enlightened people know themselves." Lau Tzu

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes


NLP Psychology of Success Effective Communication Understanding Perceptions Beliefs and Values EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: NLP Solutions - Understanding People's Perceptions

Hierarchy of Personal Needs

according to Abraham Maslow

Basic physiological needs:

  • warmth

  • food

  • sexual fulfillment

  • safe, structured environment

Higher needs:

  • love, the need to be desired, accepted unconditionally

  • esteem, the need to be appreciated, respected, recognized, valued, complimented, approved of

  • personal fulfillment

NLP Technology of Achievement Knowing Yourself and Others Mental Maps Ten3 Business e-Coach: why, what, and how

10 Steps To Resolving Inner and Outer Conflict

  • Practice Non-Violence (physical, mental and verbal) within yourself and your own life.

  • Assume an Attitude of Non-Possessiveness (physical and emotional) avoiding over accumulation of possessions that causes us to protect and defend... More

Humorous Business Plans

Great Communicator

Targeted Market: "I like to talk with people who express my thoughts clearly." Unknown...

Communication Management Skills: "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." Oscar Wilde...  More

What Does Creativity Brings To Your Life?

  • Creativity brings opportunities for self-discovery of what's "in here". It brings heightened awareness and increased ability to understand yourself... More

Building Relationships

Effective Listening

Mental Maps

Predicates Used by Visuals, Auditories, and Kinethetics


Perceptual Positions

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

The Way Our Mind Works

Body Language

Tibetan Personality Test

Cultural Intelligence

World Cultures

Eastern vs. Western Philosophy: Key Concepts

Managing Cross-Cultural Differences

Recognizing Beliefs and Values

Beliefs are the assumptions we make about ourselves, about others in the world and about how we expect things to be.


"These assumptions determine the way we behave and shape our decision-making process. They are often based on emotions rather than facts. We tend to notice 'facts' that reinforce our beliefs."7... More

Discovering Yourself

"The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover will be yourself." ~ Alan Alda

Self-Discovery Quotes

"We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey." ~ Stephen Covey... More

The Way Our Mind Works

The language of brain are pictures, sounds, feelings, tastes and smells, i.e. inputs from your senses. Your brain cannot work with negative information, i.e. inputs you haven't experienced. It can work only with positive information, i.e. "information from the experiences of your five senses, which it then manipulates in the emotional blender we call the imagination."8... More

Self-Awareness the First Step to Influencing Others

By knowing yourself then only can you know other people and influence and share your experiences with them.

Great leaders, coaches and  communicators don't focus extremely on their followers, coachees and audience. They have a high degree of self-awareness. We all have basic skills to lead, coach, or communicate; unfortunately, most of us have a few psychological blocks when it comes to applying those skills well and consistently. Knowing yourself will help you overcome your own blocks.

Meditation is an effective way to understand the world and yourself. By exploring the here-and-now of yourselves you can explore the world. Unless you investigate the world within you can never know reality you will only know your beliefs about it, or your intellectual conceptions of it. By observing yourselves, however, you can come to know reality directly and can learn to deal with it in a positive, creative way.9

Humorous Business Plan: Successful Marriage

Brief History: "Love is blind marriage is the eye-opener." Pauline Thomason...

Milestones Completed and Future Plans: "As soon as you find the one to marry, just shut up and listen." Unknown... More

Reading People Listen Intently to the Specific Words People Use10


Ask a simple open-ended question. Then, be quiet and make note of the exact words the other person uses. When a person answers an open-ended question, he stops focusing outward and goes inside his mind. At that instant, he becomes relatively unaware of the words he uses. Those words point back in time to meaningful memories and emotional experiences.

Just listen. Most people tell you more about themselves than they think. Add those words to the facial expressions and body language. What you get is the beginning of an in-depth psychological profile. Once you get that, you will get a much better understanding of how to build rapport and trust; how to connect to that person; what to promise, and how to fulfill those promises... More

Understanding Preferred Styles

There are many models for understanding and characterizing the styles of interaction different people prefer to employ. A widely used approach is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). It is based on the following four dimensions of a person's preferred approach to life.

  1. How you are energized (Extrovert vs. Introvert)

  2. What you pay attention to (Sensing vs. Intuition)

  3. How you make decisions (Thinking vs. Feeling)

  4. How you live and work (Judgment vs. Perceptions)... More

Humorous Business Plan: Success in Love

Growth Strategy: "If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring." Alphonse Karr...

Market Analysis: "Women are made to be loved, not understood." Oscar Wilde... More

12 Tips for Global Travelers

  1. Learn something about the country, local customs, and cultural sensitivities to avoid making faux pas while abroad... More

Using the Enneagram

The purpose of the Enneagram is self-knowledge that can be used to further your spiritual growth, and your understanding and compassion of others. This system can be applied for analyzing and influencing unconscious strategies and behavior of not only people but also organizations, cultures, and countries... More

 Discover much more in the


Representation Systems...

NLP Technology of Achievement: Accessing Cues...

Connecting With People...

Establishing Rapport...

Integral Yoga and Self-Awareness...

Managing Cross-Cultural Differences...

Cross-cultural Communication...

Listening To What Is Not Being Said...



Free Micro-courses

Ten3 Mini-courses


Your People Skills


Winning Customers




  1. NLP Solutions, Sue Knight

  2. Ways of NLP, Joseph O'Connor and Ian McDermott

  3. NLP Technology, Harry Adler

  4. NLP - the New Technology of Achievement, Steve Andreas and Charles Faulkner

  5. The NLP Coach, Ian McDermott and Wendy Jago

  6. The Tao of Coaching, Max Landsberg

  7. Neuro-Linguistic Programming In A Week, Mo Shapiro

  8. How To Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less, Nicholas Boothman

  9. The Art of Living: Vipassana Meditation, William Hart

  10. Reading People, Michael Lovas

  11. You Aren't Supposed To Know, Steve Gillman

  12. 7 Golden Secrets to Knowing Your Higher Self, Asoka Selvarajah

  13. Personal Success 360, Vadim Kotelnikov

  14. Cultural Intelligence & Modern Management, Anastasia Bibikova & Vadim Kotelnikov