People Skills:

Building Relationships

Effective Conflict Resolution

The Art, Science, and Practice

By: Vadim Kotelnikov

Founder, Ten3 Business e-Coach Inspiration, Achievement, Innovation and Happiness unlimited!


"No one so thoroughly appreciates the value of constructive criticism as the one who is giving it." ~ Arthur Robinson



Negotiation Tips

Wise Agreement

  • Meets the legitimate interests of each side to the extent possible... More


Pearls of Wisdom


Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

~ Buddha

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.


It is not the failure of others to appreciate your abilities that should trouble you, but rather your failure to appreciate theirs.



It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself,

Ralph Emerson

Fear not those who argue but those who dodge.

Wolfram von Exchenbach

If thou are a master, be sometimes blind; if a servant, sometimes deaf.

Thomas Fuller

NLP Technology of Achievement

Guidelines for Effective Conflict Resolution

  • get the commitment of all persons involved to come to a solution acceptable to everyone

  • agree on using the six-step approach to effective problem solving

  • only those people directly involved in the conflict should be included in the problem-solving

  • don't start the process unless you and the others have set aside a sizeable block of time for it

  • don't start the process with one fixed, preconceived solution or a number of alternative solutions. The important thing that you and the others remain open to new solutions.




NLP Technology of Achievement

3 Rules for Dealing with Rude and Unfair Clients

  • Just because they are being negative, you don't have to be rude or defensive concentrate on the problem, not the person... More

Solving People Problems


Mental Fengshui: 21 Rules

  • In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling... More

Negotiation DOs and DON'Ts


People Skills

10-Step Yoga Guideline for Resolving Inner and Outer Conflict

Solving People Problems

Guard Your Happiness: 4 Types of Opinions that Matter


Effective Listening

10 Rules of Listening: 1. Stop Talking!...

12 Rules of Effective Listening

12 Active Listening Tips

Effective Negotiation

Wise Negotiation DOs and DON'Ts

Principled Negotiation

Separate the People from the Problem

Negotiation Tips

Conduct During Negotiations



Cultural Intelligence

Cross-cultural Communication

Managing Cultural Differences


Humorous Quotes

"When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover." ~ Ambrose Bierce... More

Inspirational Business Plan: True Love

Love Management Skills: "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."   Mother Teresa...

Competition: "Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love."   Mahatma Gandhi... More

No-Lose Method Turning Conflict Into Cooperation

The No-lose Method produces a solution that brings mutual need satisfaction. It is acceptable to everyone, so nobody feels a loser. It is not easy to acquire competence in applying this method. Searching for a solution requires creative thinking: "we've got a problem to solve, so let's get creative". It is important that you not start the process with one fixed, preconceived solution or a number of alternative solutions. The important thing that you remain open to other solutions.

The No-lose Method brings many benefits:

  • increased commitment to carry out the decision

  • higher-quality decisions

  • warmer relationships

  • quicker decisions

  • no "selling" is required

The No-lose Method for resolving conflict between people is just a special application of problem solving, involving six separate steps: identifying and defining the problem; generating alternative solutions; evaluating the alternative solutions; decision making; implementing the decision; and following up to evaluate the solution. Only those people directly involved in the conflict should be included in the problem-solving.

Problem Solving Strategies: 4 Levels

Great Problem Solver

Resolving Conflicts Between Business Partners

If you succeeded in building mutual trust with your business partner, it will serve as a strong foundation that will free you to respond together to the unexpected, which is essential for mutual creativity in conflict resolution. Business is too complex to expect ready agreement on all issues, and trust, thus, does not imply easy harmony. "However, in a trusting relationship conflicts motivate you to probe for deeper understanding and search for constructive solutions. Trust creates good will, which sustains the relationship when one firm does something the other dislikes. Having trust gives you confidence in a relationship and makes it easier to build even more."1

Negotiation DOs and DON'Ts

Win-Win Mindset

Win-Win sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena. Most people tend to think in terms of dichotomies: strong or weak, win or lose. But that kind of thinking is fundamentally flawed, because it is based on power and position rather than principle. Win-Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying. With a Win-Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan... More

14 Ways To Nourish Conflict

If you love conflict in your life, don't listen to anyone. Especially if someone is already hot under the collar, any sign of not listening will turn up the heat... More

Yin-Yang of Communication


 Discover much more in the


Conflict Resolution: Guidelines for the Six Steps of the No-Lose Method...

NLP Solutions: Dealing with Rude and Unfair Clients...

Problem Solving...

Creative Problem Solving (CPS)...

Asking Searching Questions...

Making a Decision...

Taking Action...

Concepts Related to Bridging Cultural Differences...

Cross-cultural Communication...

Tao of Influencing People...

Knowing People...

Understanding Perceptions...

Taking Different Perceptual Positions...

Influencing People...

Establishing Rapport...

Building Trust...

Persuading People...



Mikhail Zhvanetsky humorous quotes, Russian jokes

If you're arguing with an idiot,

he's most likely doing the same.  >>>

Mikhail Zhvanetsky



  1. "Trusted Partners", Jordan D. Lewis

  2. "Have a Win-Win Mindset," Next S Business Considerations

  3. Your People Skills, Vadim Kotelnikov

  4. Great Problem Solver, Vadim Kotelnikov

  5. Getting to Yes, by Roger Fisher, William Urey, Bruce Patton, Harvard Negotiation Project