the Right Tone
Be careful what you say at the beginning and
how you say it. Set a friendly tone. If you negotiate with a stranger, take
time to establish
develop relationship before the
Find ways to meet them informally or arrive early to chat
before the negotiation is scheduled to start. The more quickly you can
establish rapport with the counterpart, the easier the negotiation is likely
to become. When you are through negotiating, always congratulate the other
side. Say something like “You were brilliant,” to make them feel that they
won in the negotiations.
People Skills 360
First, Then Turn It Around
Avoid confrontational negotiations. If your
counterpart takes a position with which you totally disagree, don’t argue.
It may come across as, “I’m right and you’re wrong.” Arguing always puts
your opponent in a defending position, makes him or her to argue back, and
intensifies his or her desire to win the contest of rightness and will. So,
agree first, that turn it around.
Roger Dowson, the author of Secrets of Power
Negotiating, advises to use the Feel, Felt, Found (3F) formula to diffuse
the competitive spirit. For instance, if you are selling something, and your
prospective buyer says, “Your price is way too high,” don’t argue. Say
instead, “I understand exactly how you feel about that. Many other people
have felt exactly the same way as you do when they first hear the price.
When they take a closer look at what we offer, however, they have always
found that we offer the best value in the marketplace.”
4 NLP Perceptual Positions
Negotiation as a Joint-Problem-Solving Exercise
in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious to agree than to
There are profound differences between
bargaining and alternative methods of
principled or joint-→
problem-solving negotiation. Positional bargaining often
impedes negotiations, destroys relationships and produces unwise agreements.
The more attention is paid to positions, the less attention is devoted to
meeting the underlying concerns of the parties.
Problem Solving Strategies:
Creative Problem Solving
Turn Problems To Opportunities
principled negotiation strategy developed
by the leaders of the Harvard Negotiation Project1 advocates a
different approach. Participants should act not as adversaries, but as
partners trying to solve a problem jointly.
By separating the people from
the problem, they aim to reach a
efficiently and amicably.
How To Solve
Great negotiators build strong, durable,
win-win relationships because they have an obligation to help their
counterparts in negotiations
come out winners...