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The Coffee Maker is Broken     Who is the Designer of the Human Body?    Three Envelopes   Days in Office

Who is the Designer of the Human Body?

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

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Three Envelopes

A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech  corporation.  The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and  presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open these if you run up  against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said.

 

Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales  took a downturn and he was really catching a lot of heat. About at his  wits' end, he remembered the envelopes.  He went to his drawer and took  out the first envelope.  The message read, "Blame your predecessor."

The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at  the feet of the previous CEO.  Satisfied with his comments, the press – and Wall Street responded positively, sales began to pick up and the  problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in  sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his  previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope.  The  message read, "Reorganize."  This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times.  The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.

The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."

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GM vs Microsoft

At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

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If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following 13 characteristics:

  1. For no reason at all, your car would crash twice a day.

  2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

  3. Occasionally, executing a manoeuver such as a left-turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, and you would have to reinstall the engine... More

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