|
The Meaning of the Communication is the Response Your Get
(an NLP presupposition)
We often deal with new ideas, with changing how things are done, with trying to
persuade others about your point of view. There are many built-in obstacles to
people automatically accepting and absorbing information, however.
Perhaps the greatest single stumbling block to real communication is the
one-sided nature of speaking. Most of us think of "communicating" as a one-way
process. We concentrate on what to say, how to say, and how to communicate it
better. But, in our zeal to achieve our goal and get our message across to
others, we forget that at the other end of our message is an 'other' – someone
with his own zeal, his own goal, and his own concerns. These often do not
coincide with ours, especially at the moment when we are about to start
communicating our new ideas.
The Elevator Speech
In communication circles, there's the Elevator Speech. You've got to be able to
get your key point across in a matter of seconds, in the time you'd spend taking
a short elevator ride.
Engaging in a Dialogue
"Two
monologues do not make a dialogue." Exchange between you and your targeted
prospect is the key to effective communication. So,
listening is an active pursuit for selling
your ideas. "Selling isn't happening when you are talking. Selling happens when
your prospect is talking," stresses Terry Collison from
Blue Rock Capital.
Unless you can get the both sides equally involved in the exchange you may as
well deliver your idea or request to the mirror.
Making the listener want to hear you is primary. Why would someone else
spontaneously get interested in your vested stuff? You'd need a propellant -
something that could make a difference and actively turn your audience
towards your pursuit and away from theirs.
What
makes people listen? The three basic factors are:
-
Self-interest;
-
Who's
speaking; and
-
How
they say it.
Understanding the basic principles of how we communicate and why we listen –
what works, what doesn't, and why – starts you on the road to a realistic
appraisal of what you want to say and how you plan to say it.
The
best way to generate the receiver's self-interest and to get people to
listen is to discover and show them what's in it for them. It's to let
them know that you understand their self-interest by focusing on their
point of view at the start, before you tell them about yours.
That will
motivate them to turn in.
The
next factor that determines whether people listen is who's speaking,
their perception of the speaker. If you are
successful, this will
cause your audience to consciously think about what you are saying. But you must
first interrupt the thinking patterns they have developed. You must force or
compel your target market to dispense of the mental inertia that has mesmerized
them in to behavior patterns and belief systems they have established which
creates a “guardian of the mind” phenomenon.5
Certain basic personal qualities immediately capture us and make us want to
listen to your message.
|
Positive Qualities
that can
cause us to begin giving the centre stage away to become a willing and
interested listener |
Negative Qualities
that
create and environment in which we want to find a way out of listening
further to such a person |
|
|
|
The
third reason people listen is technique, or how you say it. Style and
technique have become the principal determinants of whether or now we sell or
tell successfully today. Words and people are no longer the
primary message givers. Now
pictures tell. The listener expects a
visual proof, not to take anyone's word for it.
Further, it is always important to remember how people feel about
learning. Knowing how people react to learning is vital to planning your
communication strategy.
New
information or information that challenges existing beliefs or systems presents
problem to any communicator. Benjamin Franklin advised: "Don't expect to win the
first time. Your first job is just to start the other person thinking." (see
Negotiation Tips).
Only
few people are explorers. The rest are grounded in the familiar and what is
proven to work. Therefore, the first reaction to learning is often resistance,
as most people feel (a) threatened, (b) intimidated, (c) competitive; and (d) to
be on an unfamiliar ground. The safest way to overcome these obstacles is to
discuss the new information by beginning with what is known. To start with the
familiar and then to add the new and variations or take-offs from the old to
what it could be.
Failure Story
Hilary
Clinton
During her presidential 2008 campaign,
in New Hampshire, Sen. Hillary
Clinton said about the Russian president Putin, "By definition he doesn't
have a soul" because
"he was a (former) KGB agent". By saying so, she was courting
popularity, but achieved negative results.
Did she realized that by making such a profession-based generalization she
claimed that all secret service agents around the world, including CIA and
FBI agents, – who else? policemen? soldiers? sportsmen?... – had no soul? If she didn't realized that, is she smart
enough to become a US president?
Further, have Putin and all secret service agents – or all the
professionals? – around the world became
soulless immediately after Hilary Clinton said so? They didn't, of course.
Buy saying so the Senator just made people question existence of her own
soul and, if the the answer is negative, to ask, "If is she a good presidential
candidate for United States?"
Here is another comment from
Reuter's discussion room regarding this remark made by Hilary Clinton:
"This comment by Hillary displays extreme arrogance. After making this
comment, how does she plan to deal with Putin if she were to be elected
president? By making this remark she put Russia on the extreme enemy list.
If elected, is she willing to deal with the consequences?"
As a result, Hilary Clinton's competitor, Democrat Barack Obama rocketed to
a 10-point lead over Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire in the state's
presidential primary.
So, watch your mouth, as a small, but awkward remark may result in a huge
disaster for you and your business.
Or, even better,
as Buddha advised, watch your thought, as "from right thought proceeds right
speech." |